Mr. Clean

Quite out of the blue, my wife recently said to me, "You should start doing a "guy vacation" to go play golf or something every year. A lot of guys at work do it and they have a lot of fun."

While interesting, I'm not quite sure how to take this. I have several thoughts on it though:

1. My wife, realizing that I've been quite on edge since the baby was born, is truly concerned about my snapping at an inoportune moment (such as at the beach in two weeks when one of the other in-laws says something annoying to me) and desires that I get away and do something selfish for a while
2. My wife really wants to go have a "girls vacation" and is using this as justification at a later date

So let's think about these two things. Option 1, is very plausible. My wife has become astute at reading my moods over our near 8-year marriage; probably because when it gets to be "my time of the month" I just clam up, stop talking and start cleaning. Been doing that a lot lately. But as any concientious father will tell you, this whole "go do your thing" idea is fraught with guilty perils. Were I to go on said trip, I would constantly worry about how my wife is getting along with the boys. And then when I returned, I would constantly be trying to "pay her back" by allowing her to go do all sorts of things on her own. Which I wouldn't mind doing, except that I neglect things around the house enough as it is. If I'm suddenly watching the kids all the time...the house, and yard will go downhill fast.

Then there's Option 2...the idea that she really wants to go do her own thing. There are couples I know who do everything together, and there are couples I know who do nothing together. I feel bad for both. Too much of a good thing...well, isn't a good thing. On the flip-side, if you don't spend some time together away from the rigors of daily life, what kind of relationship are you building...and believe you me, marriage is never a done deal...you must always be working at it.

At 34, I'd like to think that I'm above naked jealousy, but the fact is that I'm not. When guys go out, they go out with a purpose: I'm going to play golf, or I'm going to have a beer, whatever. But you ask a group of women what they are going to do, "We don't know. We just want to get out and have fun." When a guy hears this, he hears, "We don't know...all we know is that we're bored with staying home with our man and we want to go out and do something different."

Trust me when I say that "doing something different" conjures up all sorts of wild and crazy ideas in a husband/boyfriend's mind...and not in a good "wild and crazy" way that involves kinky going's on when she comes home.

So, I'm not sure I'm kosher with this "guy vacation" idea, as much as I long to get away. Not to mention, it's financially unfeasible. I mean, we barely have the money to get away as a couple, so I'm not sure how I'd justify dropping $500-$600 on a guy vacation.

Even at 34, we still play games. Good? Bad? Who knows...alls I know is that I had better find a good, cheap replacement housekeeper before I rub a hole in the carpet trying to get out out my frustrations at nobody and nothing in particular!

Sure I'm lazy, but it's their DOG

We have two rather large dogs, and like all dogs, they LOVE to chase critters, of which we have a-plenty. This means that when any sort of critter is spied and takes to ground, digging ensues. However, sometimes digging ensues even without an obvious critter hole. Such was the case when I peered over my balcony and spotted a fresh hole near one of my sprinkler heads.

Also flapping around in the breeze were two old polaroid pictures and what appeared to be the corner of some kind of box jutting out of the freshly-pawed earth. My curiosity piqued, I walked down the steps and crouched over the pictures. The were of a middle-aged woman, lovingly hugging her Golden Retriever...

Uh huh, now you know what the box contained right? Yep, the apparently cremated remains of one much-loved Golden, contained within a hard plastic box wrapped up in a plastic bag with matching Polaroids.

Part of me wanted to say, "Ick!" and throw it away. After all, the thing was only buried like two inches underground, and very close, I might add, to my sprinkler pipe. The other part of me that likes dogs and understands the owner's intent, figures I should go bury the thing again.

For now, the box remains where I pulled it out of the ground. It seems pointless to bury it. After all, the previous owners will never know. But what if I don't, and my basement becomes haunted by the ghost of a Golden Retriever? That would be too weird.

No really, I'm gonna replant!

I've been going on to people at work--because they're the only people I talk to other than my in-home family--about my errant landscaper. He's fairly young and inexperienced, so yes, the term "landscaper" is a bit generous. Let's call him "my yard guy." That might more appropriately represent his help to me.

At any rate, he did show up after not showing up the first day and then not showing up until late the second day, oh and then not showing up yesterday despite having told me that even if it rains he has covers he can work under. Riiiiight.

Here's pretty much all he's done this week:

See all that blank area in front of the house on both sides of the door? Well, if you look closely, you'll see stumps from the shrubs that were there previously. He hacked those out with some power hackers that he was very proud of ("These cost $400!"). He said he'd return the next day with a stump grinder, but I've not seen him since.



However, I do have my plant material that he's purchased for me (below). I'd have hoped to have something a bit larger on the Japanese Maple, but they do get pricey. I got a "Waterfall' variety for in front of the house and a Sango Kaku for the top of the yard and a Seiryu for the far right side.

Can you believe that tiny little pile of rocks cost me $70? I had to go get those myself from Pike Nurseries Stone Center here in town.

So, work is being done, just not too often. The dirt is supposed to be delivered today, but he has to build a small timber retaining wall before he can place all the dirt, so I'm sure I'll be looking at a big pile o' dirt for a few days.

But I'm confident it'll look good when he's done and if not, well, at least I'll have all the materials there to fix it myself. :)