It's like a HEAT WAVE...oh yeah!

Have I mentioned lately that I'm ready for autumn weather? Well I am. Here's why:

It's the middle of August, which according to "averages" should be a wee-bit cooler than July here in Atlanta. Not so though! We are well above average AND in the middle of a drought. I enjoy summer, that is, until it turns perpetually 90 degrees-plus for weeks on end and then I'm just over it and ready to move on. But I love early summer when the plants I planted the year before burst out of the ground and we finally get some color. I love the first few trips to the pool, or the first (and usually only) trip to the beach. All very well and good, but all also very temporary.

About halfway through summer my mood always turns pessimistic. It's not like I'm not getting enough Vitamin E, because I certainly am. So I started thinking about this mid-summer crisis and I came up with a few possible reasons for why I feel like I do:

• It's too hot to get out and DO anything. This means that I'm inevitably stuck inside the house, or other similarly A/C'd place and I can't work off my energy.


• Same for the kids. Even though they are at daycare all day, if they don't get outside and exercise, they are little hurricanes when they come home at night. And this only leads to more "No, stop that!" and "Would you please stop talking for 5 minutes?" Generally things that make you feel like a bad parent later when you stop and think about it.


• Summer makes you do things you wouldn't normally have to do, which takes time away from things you want to do. For instance, watering outdoor plants. When I have to do it, it takes me almost an hour and a half to do it. An hour and a half when you have children, is like an eternity of free time just down the tubes. And sure, watering is easy and it's quiet, but you still sweat just standing there, so it's not fun.


• I also enjoy a nice walk after dinner to work off my compulsive eating disorder (it's all in my head) and you can't do that when it's so hot.


• It's too hot to play golf or even hit balls...my one hobby


• I'm tired of my summer wardrobe

And I think the weatherpeople around here are co-conspirators in that they keep tweaking the long range forecast. See, they start off by showing that it's gonna be really hot for three days, then they show a cooling trend. But then if you look at it the next day, it shows the same thing, just advanced one day. And the same happens the next day and the next day. It's like they know that people are looking to their long range forecast for just a little ray of hope--something to look forward to--and they don't want to ruin it by bald-faced admitting, "Yeah it's gonna be 98 degrees for the forseeable future. Sorry."

Anyway, I'm taking off this Friday despite it still being 94 degrees, but that just forces me to stay home and start pulling off that wallpaper rather than going and playing golf :( But you watch, one of the children will probably end up getting sick and instead of having a productive day off, it'll be Daddy Daycare with yours truly as the teacher, teacher's assistant, cleaning crew and chef.

Really...I don't ask for much...just some cool nights outside on my back porch listening to Audio Visions with a nice glass of Cabernet Sauvignon in my hand. Is that too much to ask? Is that so wrong?

You just saw what?

Here in the Atlanta area, we have no shortage of wrecks and traffic. In fact, our traffic woes begat wrecks and vice versa. No matter how many lanes of highway we build on either side of the middle median, whenever a wreck occurs on one side, it not only boogers up traffic on its side but also on the opposite side. This phenomenon is due to something we call "rubberneckers." In fact, one fella went so far as creating an entire Web site devoted to the Atlanta rubbernecker phenom. It's truly amazing.

In addition to traffic accidents causing rubbernecking, I've noticed that as I'm driving down the road (not the interstate mind you), that if there happens to be an attractive lady walking/jogging along the side, that traffic in the lane nearest the lady (or sometimes young teenage girl) suddenly slows. It's like watching a traffic light domino effect. Astute drivers learn to look ahead of where they are and anticipate this slow down, while cell-phone talkers and nose pickers are caught unaware and end up slamming on their brakes.

However, today I saw a first in my rubbernecking experience, and while part of me says, "it's about time," the other part of me says, "Oh dear Lord, help us all!"

So, I'm driving down the road on my way home and as I near my house, I notice a couple of shirtless young men jogging on the side of the road, and would you believe that at least six cars ahead of me hit their brakes to take a looky? And mind you, these "men" were probably around 16 years old...so not really hunky men either...just guys. Now, this is pretty par for the course as far as men oggling women goes--it doesn't really matter what she looks like, guys will take a look just to look, and apparently, women are no different.

And I know what you're thinking, and yes, I can confirm that at least two of the cars that hit their brakes, were occupied by women. Of course, you'd just about have to be a hermit to not notice that women have been coming into their own in the last decade and I suppose that along with our jobs, women would also start assuming our behavior as well, but I just don't know if it's such a good thing. For one, psychologists and "sex therapists" may have to adjust their belief that men are visually driven and women are emotionally driven. From what I've seen lately, a good many women I know find a hot guy just as satisfying as we gents find a good looking women. That's certainly true at the gym and I'm betting it's becoming fairly common across the board.

But hey, "tit for tat" ladies. Why not enjoy the body that we men slave over? Married or single, guys can't honestly say that we suffer through exhausting workouts and day after day of sore muscles just so we look good to ourselves in the mirror. 'Bout time someone noticed and appreciated all the hard work.

So ladies, take a piece of advice from me and take this newfound freedom you have and use it to your advantage. Tell those guys they look good. Ask them out on a date and hell, offer to pay...why not? Most of you make as much money as we do now anyway. You probably got $5 off at the Quick-E lube on "Ladies Tuesday" anyway, so throw caution to the wind and splurge a little. Trust me, when it comes to an aggressive woman, guys really won't mind, as long as it's directed towards mutually satifying activities.

Moving Day!

It has been really hot here in Atlanta the last few days. Friday was 94, as was yesterday, and today is supposed to hit near 96 degrees. That said, doing anything outside requires planning, and even then assumes a bit of risk.

I took Friday off and scheduled an early-morning round of golf. I was partnered with a lovely retired couple who lived just down the street from me; which was kind of neat because the course we played was nearly 30 miles from our house. Small world.

After golf, I came home and worked outside in the heat for a couple of hours and despite drinking lots of fluids AND keeping my head wet, I still managed to get too hot and spent the next few hours feeling as if my head was stuffed with cotton and my body moving through cold molasses.

Having recovered, I kept the boys Saturday from 9-2 while my wife and her sisters and mom threw a baby shower for her sister who flew in from Oklahoma, and who just barely made it after her flight got canceled requiring her to drive to Dallas in order to catch the next flight that would get her here in time for the shower.

And THEN there was Saturday afternoon. My wife's brother and his wife just bought a house and of course we all pitched in to help move, except as it always happens, at least half of those who said, "Oh absolutely, I'll be there," either don't show at all, or show up after half the hard work was done. All told, there was probably 20 of us, but in truth there were only about 3 strong bodies. The "dads" were just too out of shape, or had torn ligaments or some such excuse...the women...well, can't expect them to carry heavy stuff, so it came down to really three of us, and one didn't show up until the "unload" leaving two of us carrying all the heavy stuff. Did I mention it was 94 outside?

The apartment was on the third level (or course), and also of course, the master BR and laundry room in the new house was upstairs as well and whoever designed this house, didn't do it with "moving" in mind. Needless to say, by 8 p.m. when we finished, I was whooped.
And not that you expect it, but the only person to actually thank me for helping, was the wife. Not MY wife ("Thanks honey for helping my brother move"), not the wife's parent's, ("Thank you for saving our kids a ton of money on movers,") not anyone but the wife.

I guess I've been part of the family for so long now that it's just "assumed" you'll help. But you know, it's sad when you stop saying please and thank you...even when it's your family.

On Presidential Holidays and the Like

This morning, I left the house a few minutes earlier than usual so I could drop by and let my in-laws' dog out to pee. I'm not sure she did actually, as I had to go pee. When I came back, the dog was standing by the door - slightly farther away than when I left her, so I don't know if she did her 'biz' and came back, or if she never left to begin with.

Anyway, without all the yahoos on the road, it being Presidents day and all, I zipped to work in record time.

Which reminds me, "I HATE ATLANTA." For many reasons, but traffic is high on my list. Add to that the compete lack of outdoor activities and places to hold outdoor activities and you have a very un-fitness friendly city.

Have I officially blogged enough for today? I always wonder. I think I'll change my font...

I like verdana better, except that it makes your letters seem so BIG!

Here's a question for all you dads out there: At what point after having children do you stop feeling guilty for doing yardwork and such while your wife "deals" with the baby?

I ask because that's exactly how I feel every weekend when I'm out doing things that need doing, like: car washing, lawn mowing, general cleanup etc...

Looking back, I'm really not ready to be a dad. Too late sucker!